sending postcards from the future

no time left. just keep moving.
this is one last entry. ever. here i mean.

:[

out of this.

www.aeonity.com/runawaykid
just go there and realize that your life is better than mine.
kthxbi.

that is all.

im out of order, out of plan, and out of time.
now, does that explain anything?
it better not.

um okay, so band practice went really really well,
especially after getting all of the 2 songs done.
i felt like crying when we played only one, cause the song is just so beautiful, and im touched haha

haha so me and ave watched brokeback mountain, and we were like "what the hell did he say?!" since they were talking in true cowboys accent haha lol, that was funny.

www.mypsace.com/psycho_girl -> check me out. hehe. please?

if i said my heart was beating when you touched me, will you touch me again?
i am glued to everything and anything youve ever done
"who ever said it was love, love?"
it might as well be an obsession and you wouldnt notice
lets run out the clock this time.
"it's noted"

"and it's funny how i'm not listening anyway..."

sometimes anwsers to the most obvious questions can come from all the unobvious places.
sometimes i think i should be a psychiatrist.
sometimes i think that everybody should be happy and peaceful in their own little world.
sometimes i think i shouldnt think at all.

today is well okay,
"i'm the new cancer, never looked better, and you. cant. stand. it"
maybe the reason behind someone being mad to people who's 'posering' them are just because that person feels threatened to the poser's behavior. that the poseur might one day be better than he/she.

everything is okay i guess.
people just need to cry.
no really, they need to, they need to learn that not everything is okay in this world, that people are dying, each seconds that they are enjoying their lives.
this post entry is so all over the place, and i know im not grammatically correct, and i probably will delete this tomorrow, but really isnt life supposed to be live to the the fullest?
youre supposed to be have fun all the time.
but thats just my opinion.

"im living the life that i love, im loving the life that i live"
and that is fine.

brent is now not panicking at the disco?
uhhh thats just sad
ave was on the phone, and she was like, "but theyre friends?!"
lol i was like, "but they said that theyre still good friends"
maybe when youre as huge as they are now, every words you said arent the words youre saying, maybe the words you said are supposed to be what the people wanted to hear.
all the best to brent tho, he helped making one of the greatest (imo) near big-beat/disco band, moving on...

hmm i watched some news about the latest trends of suicide bombings, about mass destruction and such..
okay, i'm a proud catholic kid, and i go to church every week, but when theyre talking about the apocalypse, isnt it also mass destruction? okay yeah the difference here is that God promise a better future for everyone who will be dead. God promise heaven for those of us who have done well, but that doesnt change the fact that those people will still be dead. hmm..

exam was okay i guess lol, i THINK i did well, but im not gonna say anything that might jinx it, meh, i need to pass this one badly lol

oh wow, graduation is just around the corner. i'm very excited now. about the party, about the graduation, about the free time, about the holiday, basically about my life lol.

my band is going to play, and i know for damn well we're gonna kick some asssss! lol hahaha. we're gonna play 1 slow song for all the slow dancers out there haha and 1 pretty much ass-kicking song for the moshers (that i doubt will be there meh). it's not really an ass-kicking song, we're not gonna play the used or atreyu or anything even close to that, or even thursday :( haha lol, i dunno maybe we'll play the good-time-song, like ocean avenue, maybe?

being in this band has taught me a LOT of things:
1. stop trying to make everything perfect - who knows that guitars can go off in the middle of the set every now and then
2. being on stage is an experience i will never forget - self explanatory, its an awesome feeling to be able to see the whole crowd, and see them seeing you play.
3. stop believing - stop believing in every person that says they're your friend, sometimes theyre not. stop believing that you cant do something before you actually do it, it sounds easy, but its not as easy as it sounds.
4. stepping out from your comfort zone is okay once in a while - haha dinners at 4pm in the afternoon, trying to be polite and crazy at the same time isnt as easy as it sounds.

NEXTTONOWHERE: this band is a dream come true. no, it's not even a dream, i was too stupid to even dream about being in a band. if it wasnt for this band, i probably would be somewhere, lonely and hating everything in this world. ave, renata, rose, and lizzie = amazing 2nd if not 3rd family away from home. this is soo an overrused phrase, but the times weve been together for the past YEAR (OMG we've been together for 20 months!) will not be forgotten.

P.S: we're not breaking up.

just one more note.
if i were a cat, i would give up all of my 9 lives just to see what i can do to make you at least think of me when i finally die.

P.S: why the hell is eliott booted from a.i?!

um. today is just okay i suppose.
im trying hard to study but more and more this is getting nowhere.
and so are you.
this is what i should be saying even though youre near me.
"wish you were here."
no really, i really wish you were.
i wont really miss you if i didnt see you saying bye.
"the things you own end up owning you.."
the thing with matchmaking is.. that it can be either people or clothes. what is the difference anyway?
the sky is blue today.
it just strikes me, that anything in this world, anything, is subjective.
i just hope i know what am i to you.
if thats even possible.
sometimes i swear, i can see thru you.
if you would ever say yes, id say 'i love you' in a heartbeat.
i mean it.

this thing cant get out of my head:

I'll Let You Live

The first degree was a riot
You were making sure
My lesson's learned
I'm not ashamed but I'm trying
I've come to expect the standards you have set...
Tell me just how dangerous is second best
You've settled for less and I'm sure you'll settle again
You'll settle for less.
There's no stopping me.
I'm gutting you out.
There's no stopping this...
The closer I look is the further that you get.
Already stubborn skin thickens
In a valiant attempt to understand
So understand.
There's no stopping this.
I'm gutting you out.
There's no stopping me.
I got tired of waiting, waiting, and I'm still waiting...
When the guilt subsides the night begins...
When the guilt subsides
The night begins.
Came as a gift from a good friend
That disapproves
But understands
That you represent
And actively encourage
All of my worst habits.
They all are proof
That we're both capable of the most terrible things
"Dont test me"
There's no stopping this
I'm gutting you out
I know it's not what you deserve.
Still, there's no stopping me...
I'm gutting you out.

"look so closely, there might be something you like.."
"what's it like?"
i'm dragged out and dugged out.
and if i had enough courage, i would probably say something, but the little evil part of me said no and it said it's happy to see you suffer.
the little part of me is reminded with how i used to act.
"k-i-s-s, i'm in distress.."
to be or not to be.
sometimes i just want to say to you that this all will go away.
and probably mine will go away after im saying that to you, but the truth is does anyone really care anymore?
i'm tired of being filed under "back-up plan"
maybe you dont know this, but you're never one to me.
i'm tired of being asked to do something i dont even want to think about doing, let alone having to do it.
and maybe you dont realise it, but you always put me away whenever someone else is there.
i'm just the little shopping bag you always put under the bed so no one know that you've been shopping.
if you need a reminder, maybe you should put a dollar in a jar everytime you call for help.
maybe we can help feeding the kids of africa.
it's not that i feel underapreciated (sp?)
but sometimes its nice to get the attention.
"you live for the attention...."
"why cant you live without the attention"

i dream of you last night, holding the hand of someone else.
and what hurts me isnt that you were holding her hand,
what hurts me is that i actually think you look good with her.
and there's no stopping love like that.
if you can call that love.
"you know our love's not unconditional..."
and sometimes its easier to call it something when you only hear one side of the story.
everybody always have one.
i want yours to match mine.
"low f-i-d-e-l-i-t-y, do all love songs end this way?"